So here I am at almost 8 months pregnant and finally sharing my “Pregnancy journey”. I know right it sounds so corny. But I have had a lot of people ask how my pregnancy experience has been. So if you do care then bare with me while I waffle on.

Let me be honest in saying that having a third child at 39 in the middle of a global pandemic wasn’t exactly on the vision board.

After my second son was born 4 years ago hubby and I said “Two and through!” And for a few years we were adamant we didn’t want another child. Then we thought another child might be nice but we were undecided. It didn’t make sense financially or logistically. So we were actively trying not to conceive. Then I had some health issues and was on & off contraception and really thought at 38 that my “fertility window” (as my GP called it) was closing. So I guess we got a bit complacent. But clearly that fertility window was still wide open because here I am.

I have a regular cycle and get major PMS so when my period was late I initially thought nothing of it. I was tired. I was cranky. I was bloated. But its OK its just my period about to come. But it never did. I had a glass of wine one night and instantly felt sick. The next day I was so tired, like more than usual, and I started to join the dots. So I did a home test just to ease my mind. It was going to be negative. Of course it was going to be negative. I was so bloated. I was SO going to get my period. Well after instantly peeing on that stick the second line was there. Pregnant. By my calculations just over 5 weeks. Bloody hell.

He recommended waiting until at least 7 weeks to get a dating scan but I was so eager and I was sure with my boys I had a scan right on 6 weeks.

So I held off and booked the scan in but even though I knew my dates, conception must have occurred a bit later as I was measuring right on 6 weeks, when I thought I was almost 7.  After an internal ultrasound all that could be seen on screen was a fetal pole and an empty sac on on the external ultrasound.  The sonographger also had no bedside manner and was not reassuring. It didn’t look like the pregnancy was viable and I was to go back in 7-10 days to confirm. I was devastated. Hubby was trying to reassure me and say it was probably just too early but I was convinced that little dot on screen would never progress. I have seen many friends suffer losses and knew that a positive pregnancy test didn’t always end up with a baby in their arms. So we waited.

5 days later I started spotting and thought the worst. This was it. We were losing our baby. I was hysterical. This was also the week that Coronavirus panic really hit and the news was filled with stories about everyone hoarding groceries and toilet paper.

I made a doctors appointment to get a scan referral and booked a scan for the next day at a different place to where I had my dating scan.

I was so nervous but the staff were amazing and straight away on the external ultrasound there was a strong heart beat. My little “Poppy seed” was growing. Due date also moved up.  The bleed was likely a small Sub Chronic Heomarage (that I had with both previous pregnancies) but I was told everything was tracking as well as could be expected at that point.

So now I was at ease about the pregnancy but freaking out about Coronavirus. What the hell was going on? What would things be like in October? What if I got sick? So much felt unknown.

It wasn’t cheap- $500- but we agreed it was the right thing to do. Previous pregnancies I don’t recall Harmony being so opening discussed or offered. Most people do the standard Nuchal screening at 12 weeks. But we needed reassurance. We also wanted to know the gender.

As I was much sicker and the pregnancy just felt different I did wonder if I was having a girl. I had morning sickness that turned into all day sickness that felt like a 24/7 hangover. Fun!

The scan was all fine and bloods very simple. Less than a week later I got a call to say we came back low risk for everything and we were having a girl. I cried with happiness.

I have often been asked what we would have done if the test did flag anything. Honestly I don’t know. We never had to make that decision and my heart goes out to anyone who does. But with two other kids and at this stage in our life it was important to us to know and be prepared.

We told the boys just after this that they were going to have a baby sister and they were both really excited.

The next part of the Harmony package was a structural scan at 14 weeks to check bubs growth. Again everything was fine. We started telling family and a few close friends after that. But decided with lockdown we weren’t really seeing anyone and it didn’t feel do a big public announcement. So for a while longer to felt like our little secret.

I registered again with the Midwife program at my local hospital, where I had the boys and had such amazing care. I was considered low risk so I wouldn’t have my first face to face appointment until after 20 weeks. Appointments were also spread out due to COVID. (Yup we are now saying just COVID)

In the meantime like everyone else we fumbled but survived through restrictions, school closures and working from home.

My Midwife and GP kept reassuring me that pregnant woman weren’t at any higher risk for complications if we contacted COVID and just to keep up regular hygiene practices. But of course the worry was always there.

We decided at the half way mark to finally publicly announce the pregnancy. Lots of friends were surprised or felt hurt we hadn’t shared the news sooner. There were lots of “Oh wow was that an accident?!”- I hate that question!

So that pretty much wraps up the first 20 weeks! Oh wait lets not forget getting COVID tested at 25 weeks due to a sore throat and then falling and fracturing my foot at 27 weeks requiring a moon boot for possibly the duration of my pregnancy.

But here I am at 34 weeks. Very heavily pregnant and counting down the weeks until we meet our baby girl. I can’t believe we will soon be a family of five. I am nervous being that much older. Nervous how our lives will change. How the boys will adapt. Nervous about dropping down to one income. Nervous that we can’t give our baby girl her own room initially. But these things will work themselves out. As this is our last child I am trying to embrace the good and the bad.

I had two previous natural, uncomplicated deliveries and I am hoping for that again. But I am more open minded now to intervention if need be. Whatever is best for myself and bub.

Currently in NSW (and I don’t see it changing) there are no hospital visitors allowed other than your birth partner. I am OK with this. I will hopefully only stay one night and the boys will be at home with their nan and meet their baby sister when we bring her home.

Big love to anyone currently pregnant especially if you are birthing in Victoria. Its a hard enough time in normal circumstances.

NSW COVID numbers are thankfully tracking well and I hope this second waive passes but I think life will forever be different.

I am not having a baby shower and we won’t be so eager to introduce our baby girl to the world. I want to stay in our baby bubble for a while.

Hubby stands by those words he said when I first told him about the positive pregnancy test-   “Its going to be OK, it will all work out”. So every time I get anxious I repeat those words.

I have being using other Smash products over the last year but its always great to try out the new range.

So far the favourites are the Bento Switch up lunch box – “Its like a food puzzle Mummy!”- , the Snack & Dip container (OK, so this is actually MY favourite) and the 750ml Mister drink bottle- “My big boy water bottle!”-.

The containers are all easy to open for little hands and are the perfect size to fit in a school bag.

Another plus is the Fridge insulated bag. It has removable gel coolers so its perfect for keeping food cold on hot days. Given the current extreme weather we have been having in Sydney a major concern for me is making sure the food is kept at the right temperature.

So let’s talk cleaning. I hate cleaning. I  am a very untidy person and a bit of a hoarder and lately I really struggle to keep a clean house.

We have a fortnightly cleaner that does the basics but two of the areas the cleaners don’t do, and I am ashamed to say that I have neglected, are the windows and blinds. I mean who has the time?

OK, so I could make the time but I am blaming #busymumlife.

So when the team at Fantastic Services contacted me about working with them how could I say no?

The customer service team were so friendly and helpful.  I had to rearrange the appointment multiple times due to some scheduling conflicts and it was never a problem.

I could have chosen any service from an oven clean to a full domestic clean. But it was the windows & blinds I chose to tackle.

A team of two cleaners spent four hours cleaning all my windows and blinds, as well as the tracks and flycreens.

We have over eight windows and some of them have three large panels so it was a lot of work.

I sat back, relaxed and had the experts take over. The team was amazing and I’m very happy with the service.

I can actually see out my windows now.

#fantasticservices are available in Sydney, Melbourne & Perth and offer a range of domestic cleaning services.

To get $20 off your first booking, simply enter the referral code: larasstyle when creating your account or sign up using this link- https://accounts.fantasticservicesgroup.com.au/invite-and-earn

Further information available at Fantastic Services

*My cleaning service was done in collaboration with Fantastic Services but all opinions are my own.

LK x

So I am becoming quite the lunch making whiz. Not just for my kids but for myself too.  The food options at my work are limited to one very average and overpriced cafeteria and a snack vending machine that is mostly empty so I am all about the BYO.

Hubby laughs that I pack enough food for a week but hey a girls got to eat!

Enter smash with their versatile range. I have been trialling a variety of their products over the last month (see previous review) and I’m really happy with the options.

The chiller snack pot range is perfect for me, as depending on my shift, I am not always able to store my lunch in a fridge. We are trying to reduce our plastic waste too so I have cut out buying individual yogurts and instead I buy a big tub and portion it up in the snack pots.

Another favourite of the boys is the mesh lunch bag with drink pocket. Perfect for individual snacks but it also holds all the chiller pots (and I can fit it in my handbag!)

The boys can open all the containers and zips with ease and none of the containers have ever leaked which is another plus.

*All products were gifted for review from Smash and this particular range is available at Woolworths. Check out Smash for full product range and further details.

If you haven’t done multiple Google searches on the best lunch boxes to buy are you even a parent?

When I was a kid I had a large orange rectangular Tupperware lunch box with one divider and a small drink bottle come freeze block. In fact I’m pretty sure I still have that lunch box somewhere.

These days there is SO much variety it can be overwhelming.

I used to have a multitude of random boxes for snacks for the boys but until recently I never had to worry about school lunches.

Both my boys now need to BYO lunch to daycare and not only do I struggle with what to make but what to pack everything in that is practical and easy for them to open.

Reducing our plastic packaging and waste is also very important.

Luckily I was recently sent a variety of products to try from the Smash Back to School 2019 range.

We are really happy with the selection.

Favourites so far are the Bento Bite Box (loving the ice brick and inner removable tray), Bento Switch Up box (removable and adjustable dividers) and Glow Bottle (My oldest wants to go to sleep just to see the bottle light up in the dark)

Just quietly I am also claiming the the purple glitter bottle for myself.

My little guy also loves the novelty puppy bag. The smaller bags are great for quick trips to the park when I don’t need to pack a full lunch.

What lunch boxes are you loving and why? Tell me in comments.

*All products were gifted for review from Smash and this particular range is available at Coles. Check out Smash for full product range and further details.

Today is 13 years since my dad died. 13 years. It feels like a lifetime ago. As the years go on it has gotten easier (but if you had told me that 13 years ago I probably would have slapped you) but there will always be a dark cloud over today and this time of year is always bittersweet.

My dad and my maternal Grandmother died 10 days apart and it was a really tough time.

My dad was a good man, a fantastic father and loving husband. He was a proud Scotsman who loved his golf. He was the life of the party.

I’m an only child and I was very much daddy’s girl.

In August 2005 he had a Stroke and didn’t recover.

Doctors could never really give us a clear prognosis of what to expect for the future. After multiple operations, infections and another Stroke he just got worse.

He was in hospital for 3 months before we had to move him into a nursing home. He was 60. Now 60 isn’t old. 60 year olds shouldn’t have to go into nursing homes. But there was no other option. He wasn’t sick enough to stay in hospital. He wasn’t well enough to come home and he wasn’t deemed fit for rehab.

We visited him every day, morning & night, while still trying to maintain some sort of normal life. My mum would visit in the morning after her night shift as a Nurse. I would then go after work and we would go together on the weekends.  It was exhausting but it became the new normal.

He was able to breathe on his own but not move much, or talk and had to be tube fed. It was so sad to see a previously healthy, happy vibrant man reduced to a vegetable like state.

Every time the phone rang we expected “The call”. But as much as you think you can prepare for that, I don’t think you ever really can.

My nan on the other hand was 90 and had always been sickly. While it was also sad to have to put her into care, it was made worse that her and my dad were both there.

I don’t think I realised at the time how hard it was for my mum to see her mum & her husband like that. It took me a few years to realise just how different our grief was.

Mum later told me that she just wished her mum was well enough to understand and comfort her when dad got sick and then wished dad was able to understand and comfort her when her mum passed.

I sat with my nan and held her hand while she passed. She was surrounded by her loved ones. My dad died alone.

My mum maintains that dad willed himself to die so he didn’t have to stay in the nursing home. I agree.

I don’t think the grief fully hit me until a few months later. Everyone is there for you then they aren’t. People don’t realise its in the months or even years that follow that you need the support. The flowers, the food deliveries, the calls and messages to ask if you are OK. They all come at once and then they stop.

Mum and I escaped Sydney for Christmas that year and went to Thailand. We had been there the year before for a family trip and dad loved it. Little did we know it would be our last trip as a family of 3.

We returned in the new year and I went back to work and just carried on as normal. No one told me it was OK not to be OK.  I was 24 and feeling very lost.

We planned a trip to my dad’s hometown in Scotland for later in the year to honour his wishes to scatter his ashes.

I didn’t realise it at the time but I was depressed and I had developed social anxiety. I was also drinking a lot and self medicating and all together just not in a good head space. My poor mum was trying to hold it together for me and I don’t think she ever fully grieved properly.

Again- no one told me it was OK not to be OK. I just wanted to fix it. Any way, any how. I went to counselling, group grief therapy. You name it, I tried it.

I hated everything familiar and quit my job before we left on our trip just because I hated that everyone knew what I had been through.

So off mum and I went to the UK & Europe and had a good-as-can-be-expected-under-the-circumstances trip. Being over there around my dad’s extended family made me feel close to him and I was happy to be away from everyone in Sydney.

I decided to stay away for 2 more months travelling around “Trying to find myself”. Travel I did, find myself I did not. I remember looking out of my hotel in London after returning from a trip around Eastern Europe and it was so cold and miserable and I thought “I just want to go home”. It took being away from everything familiar to realise what I was missing.

Again my poor mum. At the time I didn’t care that she was now home alone. All I could think about was me.

So once again regular life resumed. I went back to my old job and another year rolled on. All the firsts are hard- the anniversaries, the birthdays.

The next year I formed some unhealthy relationships, moved out of home and partied way too much. I was looking for anything to make me feel better and again nothing did.

Sadly a few friends also lost a parent around this time and we bonded over our grief and I think it helped to talk about it and share experiences.

I don’t think I really came to life again until I met hubby in 2008.

As we started to build our life together my mum also seemed to come to life. She started being more social, travelling more and it was so nice to see her looking happy again.

But grief comes in waves and some days its debilitating. That literal heartache. So you cry, you cry a lot. You get angry and sad and everything in between.

To this day my mum and I don’t (can’t?, won’t ?) cry together. She gets upset and I comfort here, and vice versa. Its like we block each others pain so one is always the strong one. I don’t know if this is good or bad.

Someone once told me “The pain doesn’t ever really go away, you just learn to make room for it”. So true.

Everyone has a different experience and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. I do believe the circumstances play a part. For me, and I know for my mum, there is a lot of guilt and “What ifs?” and “If only’s” around the way things happened. But I try not to dwell on that or I just go in into the darkest of places and its sometimes hard to come back from that.

Mostly I’m OK. We are OK. But as the years go on it feels like Dad was never here sometimes. That he is a legend, a myth we talk about and tell my boys about. But he was real, and he was so loved and is so missed.

I keep replaying our last proper conversation together. The morning before he had the stoke we had been arguing. We were very alike and clashed a lot over silly things. I can’t even remember what about but I had asked him to look at my car engine for me before work. As I drove off he said (in his thick Scottish accent) “Love you, you cranky wee shite”. “Love you dad, cya later”.

That afternoon my mum called to tell me she’d just found my dad and suspected he’d had a stoke. I rushed home and had no idea at the time what was to follow.

Tell your loved ones how you feel. Hold them tight. It sounds so cliche but you seriously never know when it might be the last time.

LK x

After 10 years together, 5 years of engagement, 2 kids and postponing twice, we finally got married.

A bit of history- we got engaged in January 2013 (after 4 years together) and had plans to marry in May 2014.

I got my dress (well 2 actually) , we booked the venue and celebrant and even planned our European honeymoon so we could be in Scotland for a family wedding just after ours.

Well even the best laid plans go astray and just as we were finalising plans I discovered I was pregnant.  While the timing wasn’t the best it was a happy surprise and we were excited to become parents.

We postponed the wedding to the following May 2015 and tried to rearrange things.

I did start to get cold feet around that time. Not about getting married but more the type of wedding I wanted, or didn’t want. Then to top it off there was a fire at the venue and they couldn’t guarantee it would be re-open in time. I took it as a sign.

So as we adjusted to parenthood and juggled finances I then delayed returning to work to help my mum through cancer treatment. So the wedding just kept going in the “Too hard” basket and we postponed indefinitely.

Well fast forward 3 more years, another baby and as our 10 year anniversary approached I said we should probably look at FINALLY getting married. I wanted to make it official,  especially now with the kids.

Hubby (I can officially call him that now ha) and I agreed we didn’t want a big fancy affair. We toyed with the idea of eloping or just going to the registry office but then agreed we wanted it to still feel special even on the small scale.

The chat went on for weeks and I said about 6 weeks out from our anniversary we should just book it. I still think hubby thought I wasn’t fully serious and that (like most things) I go on a high making plans then change my mind last minute. Well he was wrong.

I contacted our celebrant, the amazing Jessie Caccchillo and even at short notice she was available and honoured our deposit from 5 years ago.

We decided we would just have our immediate families at home in our yard for a civil ceremony. We aren’t religious and didn’t want a long winded service.

It ended up being 10 people and we didn’t tell anyone other than those invited. We didn’t want the fuss, the fanfare or any of the dramas associated with traditional weddings.

It was an emotional mess in the lead up. My father is passed away and understandably he was on my mind constantly. You always think as a little girl your dad will walk you down the isle.

I also started to feel bad at how deceptive we were being, even lying to close friends in order to not tell them about the wedding. But we kept it under wraps.

I got a casual dress for $45 at Sportsgirl and ordered flowers and a cake from local small businesses. We didn’t splurge on rings either. We just wanted basic bands. I was mindful of keeping costs down since it was such a small scale affair.

A major bonus was also having photographer best mate  (Christian Scott ) that also does hair and make up so that was sorted too.

So we pulled it all together and on 14.11.18 – 10 years to the day after meeting- we finally got married.

The ceremony ended up being in our lounge room as it started to rain so we quickly shuffled furniture around. My mum walked me in,  our oldest son carried the rings and it was perfect. I’m so glad our boys were a apart of it.

The rain then cleared and we signed the registry outside and got some photos and had a champagne toast.

I used my fathers clan tartan around the bouquet and also added his wedding ring. It was my tribute to him.

I cried during the ceremony. Like a lot.

We dropped the boys at daycare afterwards so we could enjoy a relaxing lunch and headed to a local restaurant to celebrate.  Then later we spent the night at a hotel.

We spent the next day letting everyone know our big news. Understandably some people felt they had been left out.

Has anything changed? not really. But at the same time it does feel a bit different. I have been very emotional all week. I think the build up and keeping everything a secret just caught up with me.

We are planning a belated reception in the new year to celebrate with extended family and friends. Not a big traditional reception but something more to include everyone. Note to self- I should get cracking on organising that!

So there you have it. My low key budget wedding. It can be done!

P.S- Yes I still have both the old wedding dresses. I will donate them.

LK x

Last week I attended the launch of the Dyson Airwrap Styler at the Dyson Sydney City pop up store.

In less than 30mins I had my hair washed and was shown step by step how to use the Airwrap styler ending with a sleek new ‘doo. No additional hair products were needed. I was also treated to a few glasses of Champagne, always a plus!

The Airwrap is a game changer for a curly-haired time poor mum like me. I’m either rocking a frizzy ‘fro or a boring “Mum Bun” as it would usually take me a good hour to tame my frizz.

I have various hair dryers and straightening irons but no other product has ever given me salon quality results in record time. I gave up on curling irons years ago!

The low down-  The styler uses Dyson’s intelligent heat control and multi styler engineering to create curls, waves and smooth blow dry finishes without extreme heat. Its 6 years in the making and uses a phenomenon called the “Coanda effect”. The Coanda effect happens when high-speed air in a cylinder creates a vortex. In the tool, high pressure air flows through six slots in the barrel, which gets the hair to latch onto the curler.

It has a wand base with various attachments, including a dryer (I was surprised at how light this was and how quickly it took the bulk of moisture out of my hair), two paddle brushes, a round brush, and two widths of curling barrels. Now the barrels don’t clamp your hair like most curlers. This is one of the selling features. The barrels go in different directions and use only air to wrap your hair around. 

The time saver is also that you can use bigger sections of hair than with a regular dryer. We sectioned my hair off into about 8 x 1-2 inch sections and got an instant results.

Shop here- Dyson.com

LK x

So I guess I’m a blogger now? Ha. I have been running a little budget style Instagram page for the last year laras.style_ and I thought it was time to start a blog to expand on my everyday rants beyond just my latest bargain purchases. Anyway I am not exactly sure how this will go but I am definitely more than colourful squares on my Insta page.

I am more than a mumma, more than a housewife, more than a shopper. So this page will be more of an insight into my life and style.